We Are All Completely Beside Ourselves
By Karen Joy Fowler
G.P. Putnam’s Sons, 2014, 336pp.
The Short of It:
A powerful exploration of a non-traditional family and the impact that one decision has on their lives.
The Rest of It:
The story opens in the middle. This is how Rosemary decides to tell it; for reasons that are explained later. The Cookes are like any other family. A mother and father, a son and two daughters. Except that Rosemary’s dad is a psychologist conducting an experiment in his own home. Young Rosemary loves having the grad students around, documenting their every move. Their comings and goings become part of the lives. Academia, and such.
With the story opening in the middle, Fern, Rosemary’s sister has already been sent away. Losing her sister at such a young age and not really understanding why Fern was sent away leaves Rosemary unsettled. Whereas her older brother Lowell, becomes angry. Very angry. So angry that he eventually leaves home without a word.
As an adult, Rosemary befriends other wayward souls while Lowell remains an unknown, somewhere out in the world doing God knows what. There are glimmers of his existence but Rosemary’s family falls into a deep depression and Rosemary begins to revisit those early years with the grad students. Why was Fern sent away? What role did Rosemary play in it?
I am intentionally not giving you information. This is a book that needs to be experienced. I read a New York Times article about books that stay with you, and this book from 2014 was listed. I had never heard of it but was immediately intrigued. The reporter said to go into it cold. I tried.
It’s a devastating read but when you really dig in, it’s hopeful. Karen Joy Fowler does not consider herself to be an “activist” but in an interview she once said that she considers herself to be a literary advocate who uses her writing to promote awareness of a given cause.
Rosemary’s loss is so palpable. She not only lost her sister Fern, but really her brother Lowell too and a piece of each of her parents. A piece that neither of them seem to know how to get back. Disappointment abounds. But does it?
I chose this book for book club and we had a really good discussion about it. Fowler found her inspiration from two real-life experiments, The Kellogg Experiment and Project Nim. Click on those links if you don’t mind knowing the big reveal.
This is a heart-felt read. There’s much to say about family, science and what is means to be human. Highly recommend.
Source: Borrowed
Disclosure: This post contains Bookshop.org affiliate links.
Book Chatter 
Just like my last comment on your previous post, I would say…hmmm….
Don’t think this would be a good match for me right now, but I appreciate hearing your thoughts on it and I also can imagine that discussion with a group would be good. I’ve found that with book groups I’ve attended, sometimes the book discussion is the highlight for books that maybe I didn’t love to death. And though I might not be tempted to re-read those books, they are definitely memorable. Thanks for sharing!
There are some rough bits but they are handled well and not heavily detailed. I got through it okay even though I am such an empath. It was very well done.
I’ve started this book twice and just can’t get into it. That doesn’t mean I won’t try again… maybe it just wasn’t what I wanted to read at that time. Seeing your review makes me want to attempt it.
The author’s decision to start in the middle requires you to read a little bit before it all comes together. Dig in! It’s really very good.
I could have sworn I’d read something by this author, but none of the titles sound familiar. I thought maybe the book I read was an “Oprah” book, so I just went down a rabbit hole looking at all her books from the very beginning. Nope. Oh, well. This book does sound intriguing!
I thought so too!! I looked back and it’s Therese Fowler I’ve read, not Karen.
Well, I have read one book by Therese Fowler (A Good Neighborhood), but she’s not the author I’m thinking of. 😉
Experimenting on your own family seems like a really, really bad idea that could have dire consequences. I am adding this one to my TBR list; I am intrigued by your review, so thank you!
I guess in the 70’s family experiments like these happened all the time! Crazy to me. After you read it, you should look up those real experiments because they did not have the outcome they expected.
The experiments sound kooky. This poor family – sounds sort of tragic. But I haven’t read it … What a seemingly good pick for book club. Much to discuss I’m sure. I have not read this author yet but now I’m curious.
The basis for the actual studies was interesting. The exploration of language adaptation in a primate was interesting but integrating them into young families with children who are also acquiring language was an interesting choice. It’s all very high brow and academic. The families included willingly took it on for the sake of education and science.