Tag Archives: Ramblings

I Got Mad The Other Day

Mad graphic.
I’ve been having a moment.  Well, a very long moment that started in January and has been building ever since. This isn’t book related so if you care to skip it, feel free.

Last Friday I did not have a good appointment with my Rheumatologist. My iron levels are leading me to a transfusion and my Vitamin D levels are so low that “heart event” was mentioned as was “stroke”.  To make matters worse, my BP was 182 and it continued to go up as my phone kept going off from work. It was unreal. It has never been that high and the nurse took it numerous times.

My. Health. Sucks.

I take iron. I take Vitamin D. I make good food choices about 75% of the time. I am just not absorbing nutrients and this is not something I can even control so it made me angry. I suspect that Celiac as well as Lupus have done their damage and now I am just a sieve for nutrients to pass through. Plus the shape of my red blood cells are wonky too.

After three solid days of wallowing in my misery and being angry as heck, I started to feel very small for focusing on all the negatives but sometimes you gotta get it out of your system. I haven’t quite gotten it all out yet but I am close.

This week I am making small changes to fix the 25% of my diet and habits that are not so great.

  • I haven’t had coffee in nearly a week but I don’t plan to give it up, I just can’t drink it right now with my BP so high.
  • I’ve cut my portions in half and added more fish to my diet. The family is already complaining about that because I managed to stink up the house cooking up my lunches.
  • I’m not exercising yet because with the low iron levels my energy levels can barely get me through the day right now but that is coming.
  • Trying to sleep more. Trying.
  • Removing sync on my work email account as soon as I leave the building.
  • Trying to get up every hour to walk around. I was sitting for very long periods of time… maybe three hours of intense focus before getting up. Not good.

Anyway, that’s where I’m at right now. By December, when I find out who my new doctor is, I am hoping to be down 20 lbs. Sounds like a lot but I’ve lost three since Friday so really only 17 more!

So that’s it. I got mad, pouted, cried a little, threw myself on top of my bed and groaned like Harry Burns did in the Casablanca scene of When Harry Met Sally. Whatever I can fix, I will and if I can’t I won’t.

I’m over it now.

My Friday Mumbo Jumbo Post

It’s been one heck of a week. If I don’t laugh, I’ll cry.

I had a particularly bad gluten reaction and now my entire upper palate is falling apart. The pain in my mouth is unbearable. And although I am on all sorts of medication, I am barely able to get a handle on it. That’s all I’ll say as I’ve been spouting off about it on Facebook. I just keep reminding myself that others have it worse.

Speaking of others, I heard from Amy’s husband. She is a blogger over at The House of Seven Tails. Many of you also know Amy so I wanted to let you know that she is in the ICU battling a bad lung infection. She could use some prayers and some positive thoughts right now. She’s had a difficult year and I’m hoping that she will be able to return home soon.

Tonight, The Boy has a choir performance. The last one of the school year. We are all looking forward to it. It will be nice to end the week with something fun.

This weekend? Nothing. How wonderful is that? I just want to read, cook and regroup. My house has been without food all week long and when the kiddies can’t even make a PB&J sandwich, you know it’s time to venture out and stock-up.

On the reading front, I just finished Mr. Peanut by Adam Ross. I really liked it. It was totally whacked but I loved it.  Review to follow. I am also reading A Constellation of Vital Phenomena by Anthony Marra. It’s a really slow read for me, but I am enjoying it. In between these books I picked up The Lake House by Marci Nault and I find myself totally absorbed when reading it.

What do you have planned for the weekend? What will you read? I am tempted to see the new Star Trek movie but probably won’t get to it this weekend. It will be something to look forward to.