I’ve been having a moment. Well, a very long moment that started in January and has been building ever since. This isn’t book related so if you care to skip it, feel free.
Last Friday I did not have a good appointment with my Rheumatologist. My iron levels are leading me to a transfusion and my Vitamin D levels are so low that “heart event” was mentioned as was “stroke”. To make matters worse, my BP was 182 and it continued to go up as my phone kept going off from work. It was unreal. It has never been that high and the nurse took it numerous times.
My. Health. Sucks.
I take iron. I take Vitamin D. I make good food choices about 75% of the time. I am just not absorbing nutrients and this is not something I can even control so it made me angry. I suspect that Celiac as well as Lupus have done their damage and now I am just a sieve for nutrients to pass through. Plus the shape of my red blood cells are wonky too.
After three solid days of wallowing in my misery and being angry as heck, I started to feel very small for focusing on all the negatives but sometimes you gotta get it out of your system. I haven’t quite gotten it all out yet but I am close.
This week I am making small changes to fix the 25% of my diet and habits that are not so great.
- I haven’t had coffee in nearly a week but I don’t plan to give it up, I just can’t drink it right now with my BP so high.
- I’ve cut my portions in half and added more fish to my diet. The family is already complaining about that because I managed to stink up the house cooking up my lunches.
- I’m not exercising yet because with the low iron levels my energy levels can barely get me through the day right now but that is coming.
- Trying to sleep more. Trying.
- Removing sync on my work email account as soon as I leave the building.
- Trying to get up every hour to walk around. I was sitting for very long periods of time… maybe three hours of intense focus before getting up. Not good.
Anyway, that’s where I’m at right now. By December, when I find out who my new doctor is, I am hoping to be down 20 lbs. Sounds like a lot but I’ve lost three since Friday so really only 17 more!
So that’s it. I got mad, pouted, cried a little, threw myself on top of my bed and groaned like Harry Burns did in the Casablanca scene of When Harry Met Sally. Whatever I can fix, I will and if I can’t I won’t.
I’m over it now.