Death & Dying | Book Chatter

Census
By Jesse Ball
Ecco Press,9780062676146, 2019, 272 pp.

The Short of It:

A quiet, complex story about the love between a father and his son.

The Rest of It:

A widower is told by his doctor that he doesn’t have long to live. As a doctor himself, he takes this information in but then immediately thinks about how his special-needs son will survive without him. Who will the boy live with? Who could take this responsibility on?

As the man ponders this, he sets himself up as a census taker. A door-to-door census taker. One who will travel from town to town and record its inhabitants. He believes this road trip is what he and his son needs. Time together, in the car, going door to door. One last trip.

Census has been called a dystopian sci-fi. If you dig deep, you can see it. A census taker, applying permanent tattoos on the citizens he encounters, nameless towns that are only represented by a letter of the alphabet. Strange people. Often quirky and then the way this man deals with his own impending death. There is a lot to take apart.

The author set out to write a story that would honor his brother who had Down Syndrome. A brother who passed away. Although the boy’s affliction in this story is not mentioned specifically, the reader is well aware that he is special needs. But did the author succeed in honoring the brother he lost? I think the author believes so. The way in which the boy is drawn, the interactions he has with strangers, and the bond he holds with his father speaks to something but not Down Syndrome specifically.

What I enjoyed while reading this book is how different it was from past reads. It was unique but not overly so. Really, a quiet story that moves you along slowly. Occasionally beautiful prose. Ball is a poet and you can sense that in his writing. I enjoyed the quiet moments that the father and son shared.

I didn’t agree with the ending, even though the story opens with the ending. It should not have been a surprise to me but it left me a little unsettled. That said, I am glad I read it and I would happily read another story by Ball. He’s written nine novels!

Source: Borrowed

Disclosure: This post contains Indiebound affiliate links.

The Beauty of What Remains
By Steve Leder
Avery, 9780593187555, January 2021, 240pp.

The Short of It:

I did not expect a book about death and grief to be one of my favorite reads of the year.

The Rest of It:

As the senior rabbi of one of the largest synagogues in the world, Steve Leder has learned over and over again the many ways death teaches us how to live and love more deeply by showing us not only what is gone but also the beauty of what remains. ~ Indiebound

The Beauty of What Remains is my book club’s pick for March. When I picked it up, I really had to push myself to read a book that is essentially about death and the grief that follows it. Death is depressing to me. It’s probably depressing to most people but this book is incredibly uplifting and hopeful. Leder, having sat by thousands of deathbeds as a rabbi knows a thing or two about death but it never really dawned on him what true grieving was until his own father passed away from Alzheimer’s a few years ago.

Death is a great teacher if it impels us to serve the living. ~ Steve Leder

Through anecdotes and real life experiences from those who have sought his counsel, Leder provides a revelatory look at how death can look to loved ones who are forced to face it. It doesn’t have to be the sad, depressing life passage that we’ve come to expect. Leder provides a different viewpoint, one that focuses on the good and his easy, affable way is like the hug you never knew you needed.

“We are helpless in death, but we are not helpless in life.” ~ Steve Leder

I’ve heard countless times how people need comfort reads right now. This pandemic is finally showing signs of moving on and yet, we are still a little raw and on edge. Comfort reads, food, the warm embrace of a loved one (once vaccinated) are all things we need right now. If you don’t think you can get anything out of this book because you haven’t lost anyone recently, think again. Leder’s writing can help you through any loss and we have all experienced loss lately. He has this amazing way of putting things. I would love to just sit in a room with him and listen to him talk. Here’s a clip from the Today show that effectively illustrates what I mean.

The Beauty of What Remains is a beautiful book. It’s funny and hopeful and a valuable resource for anyone who has ever wondered what to say to a friend after they’ve lost a parent or a child. It’s filled with heartwarming examples of how loved ones can be honored before and after death and includes very practical information for anyone who has to plan a funeral or a celebration of life. This stuff is gold. I never thought a book like this would end up on my list of faves for the year but it’s earned a spot on it. I highly recommend it.

Source: Borrowed
Disclosure: This post contains Indiebound affiliate links.

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