Why I’m Not a “Joiner”

This has been a busy week for the book world. At the time of this writing, BEA is in full swing and Book Blogger Con will shortly follow. So many of my blogging friends are in NYC to experience both of these events, and I am here.

Why am I here?

Well, some of it has to do with money, much of it has to do with time (like, I have none) but the real reason is that I don’t enjoy these type of events. Not usually. I find them to be completely overwhelming to my OCD-planner-self, and what I like best about blogging are the interactions I have with people and I don’t feel as if I can accomplish that during an event as large as BEA.

This post from Wallace confirms it for me.

What I would like, are the dinners, impromptu bookstore visits, the museum trips and perhaps even a show with bloggers who I’ve grown to like very much. Yes, there is the mutual excitement over books that we share, but I’d be the one setting up all the social hook-ups and honestly, much of it probably would not center around the Javits center. Have I ever told you how much I hate crowds?

Several bloggers have brought up the networking aspect. There’s that, but everyone I want to know I’ve reached out to on my own or am working up the courage to do so (like my love, Jo Nesbø. LOL).  I guess what I’m saying is that if you are wondering why I am not there, posting fabulous updates or even participating in Armchair BEA, I’d have to say that I’m just not much of a “joiner.”

Although I am not a joiner, I still feel pretty connected with what’s going on and although I don’t participate in many of the group events like Armchair BEA and lately the Read-a-Thon, it doesn’t mean that I don’t support those efforts, because I do. It just means that I’m content with what I have here, in my little blog world and that I am more than satisfied with the wonderful people I’ve come across AND, I worry about loading up your readers with post after post about a given topic.

I’m here for the reading, and the people and don’t care too much about the other stuff. That said, I hope you have a fabulous Friday and to my blogger friends in NYC, hope you have a safe trip home!

24 thoughts on “Why I’m Not a “Joiner””

  1. Well said. While I like the idea of BEA and talking about books virtually non-stop for a few days, I’m blogging as a hobby – attending something like this and spending all that $ would make it feel more like a job.

  2. I still would like to go someday in the future, but your post and Wallace’s post certainly put everything in perspective. 🙂

  3. I posted on Armchair BEA yesterday (you get a shout-out), but mostly noting how social networking has changed everything from the days when I went to BEA/ABA as part of the job.
    It was a marvelous opportunity to meet so many people, but now I’m happy here at home, reading and blogging at my own pace.
    Cheers, Nancy

  4. Ti, “I an not a joiner” either, and crowds are something to be avoided for me as well. I’m not an OCD type, but I an a creature of habit and content with my own life and own routines.

    I think in some ways you are my much younger soul-sister LOL

    1. We do click…don’t we? Have a great weekend! It’s going to be nice and long for me since I have to take The Boy to have some teeth removed on Tuesday.

  5. I’m not a big joiner either … plus I think I’m better on the blog than I am in real life. I’m incredibly awkward and actually quite shy.

  6. I would hate the huge group atmosphere and wearing name tags…yep…the name tag would be my downfall.
    Rather go to lunch at Union Square Cafe or have a martini in dimly lit bar somewhere…I love that Wallace is her own person amidst all of the BEA madness…

  7. Like your perspective and Wallace’s post. I’ve learned from Twitter that they’re testing the new tech for eBook-Signing. Don’t you think that way, authors and readers are being separated more instead of being drawn closer?

  8. I think I would feel totally overwhelmed. I enjoy reading about other people’s experience and viewing their pics from the comfort of home!! 😀

  9. Add me to the list of don’t like crowds, the conference seems overwhelming, and we “get her done” just fine from here:)

    Please get the courage up to contact Nesbo! I want to hear what he says! Lurve that guy!

  10. Lately I’ve felt less compelled to do the online stuff such as the read-a-thon and Armchair BEA (did it last year but not this year). And I thought maybe it was just me!

    And, right now, I can’t see myself traveling across the country just for books and networking. I would love to visit NYC but on my own agenda 🙂 .

  11. I can certainly relate to your post. I am not a fan of crowds either. I would also love the visits to independent book stores and grabbing a bite with fellow bloggers and book lovers.

    I would, however, like to be involved in BEA once, just once. Maybe next year.

      1. Absolutely! I think a big part of the enjoyment would be to hook up with a few bloggers you know you will be able to have something in common with. And I just read Wallace’s post about BEA. I can so relate. I made a comment saying my daughter took me to BlogHer last summer in NYC and the first afternoon I grabbed a cab and went to The Strand for the afternoon:) Crowds do not do it for me.

  12. I’m not feeling as badly about not being at BEA this year and I think it’s largely because of the same reasons you’ve mentioned. The more I thought about it, the more I knew I would be overwhelmed by the crowds and the need to be “on” all of the time. I just wish there were some other way to get to meet the people I’ve “met”!

  13. I really do feel the same way that you feel…I am not even sure I could share a room with someone who is not my husband…I envy some of the things people are doing…but some of it sort of creeps me out a bit….I am not a hanger on…I hate bothering people and I hate being overwhelmed by this huge of an event…It might be nice to go with a few friends that you know but the blogs and tweets I have been reading…people are getting up at four in the morning to get in line for a book or an author…this just is not for me. But I have to admit that there is a part of me that envies the networking opportunities…if they are real.

    1. The thing for me is, that it takes so freakin’ long just to get there and back that I’d have to take an extra two days if I make the trip at all.

      A weekend thing would be better…say we meet at The Strand, spend the day browsing and lunching. Then dinner and a show and then day two was sightseeing. I could do that. I once hit D.C. in one day and saw a ton of stuff.

  14. I’m not a joiner either but sometimes feel I should force myself to participate (I’m not sure why). I think it’s great that you understand your boundaries and what works for you.

    Since moving last summer I feel I enjoy blogging about other things.

    I’m back from vacation, trying to settle in before going back to work tomorrow. 🙂

    1. Welcome back! The photos you shared on FB were wonderful. Can’t wait to hear all about the trip.

      Sent from my BlackBerry

  15. I think, as an adult, you have earned the right to do what you want with your free time so good for you. Although I did miss you 🙂

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