Book Chatter

A few days ago, I spouted off about something that happened to my son and so many of you took the time to comment or talk to me about it via Facebook (thank you). I can’t say that I am feeling much better, but here’s what happened.

After my email to the head coach, I received an email reply the next day. The email was delicately worded, but more concerned with my husband’s reaction to the coach in question, than the issue at hand. You see, after my blog post, my husband decided to talk to Coach Jerk and it was not pretty. Needless to say, Coach Jerk morphed into even more of a jerk, which I didn’t think was possible. The head coach’s email stated the following:

*That my son was not kicked off the team.

*That my son never indicated that he was having problems with his health.

*That my son was disrespectful and mouthed off to the coaches.

Not true. When I read that email, I almost lost it but at the bottom of the email, was the head coach’s number so I called him. After a very long talk, he admitted that out of the three coaches, the third coach did not witness any disrespect and that he even stated that my son was “not that kind if kid.”

We talked for a very long time. What started off as a very firm email of support for his coaches, turned into a misunderstanding for all parties involved. I am not 100% okay with it although I do think there was a misunderstanding in that the Jerk took my son’s pain as a sign of rebellion. What I did get out of it, is that the head coach is essentially a good guy and was trying to see both sides of it without putting any one party down in the process.

End Result:

My son was invited back, but we chose to keep him out for the following reasons:

*The collusion between the two coaches is unacceptable. I don’t want my kid around people who are willing to back each other up when they KNOW they are in the wrong. The “good ole boy” club is alive and well and I want no part of it. I pretty much told him so.

*Even if all parties agree to start over, I don’t think my son would make it through the season with Coach Jerk riding him every time he had a problem.

I did not get a dime back because my son was invited to return. I was really very close to taking it higher, but the head coach suggested that my son try again next year, under a different coach. If he does come back, I don’t want him to get blacklisted because his mother took it all the way up. Know what I mean?

And even though I feel as if we got the short end of the stick in this, I do think that the head coach is going to keep an eye on Coach Jerk. In fact, I am positive he will. This guy is a loose cannon. Unhappy in life and taking it out on these kids. It will come to a head, and this jerk will get his. Of that, I am sure. It would be good to nip it now, but when you have coaches backing up other coaches, it’s difficult to do unless the kids come forward. Some of the kids offered to quit, but my son told them not to. So there you have it.

My son has been very depressed since it happened. I thought that signing him up for the next show (The Music Man) would improve his spirits but he’s dragging himself around like a sack of laundry. One funny thing to note…I just found out that his cross-country coach was an old teacher of mine from high school! Can you believe it? Funny and nice. At least with that sport, I know he’ll be respected by his coaches. A little bit of light during this dark time.

If I didn’t have to think about grudges and repercussions, I would have reamed Coach Jerk in every way possible so this is an unusual position to be in. I’m a little depressed over it myself and so close to just taking it to the top anyway, but I am trying to put a little distance between it and myself. I just feel badly for my son. Now, he can’t play and it sucks.

Whatever You Love
By Louise Doughty
(Harper Perennial, Paperback, 9780062094667, March 2012, 384pp.)

The Short of It:

Grief has no boundaries.

The Rest of It:

When nine-year-old Betty is hit by a car and killed, Laura finds herself reminiscing about her life before Betty and the marriage that fell apart after her brother is born. Starting with the death of Betty and weaving in and out of time, Laura reviews her life with a critical eye. Overcome with grief, she fixates on the man who killed Betty and vows to destroy whatever he loves.

The premise of this novel sounds overly simplistic but it’s a very complicated story, interwoven with bits about Laura and her relationship with David, her ex-husband. The dynamic between the two seems trivial compared to the death of their daughter, but I found the information vital to my understanding of Laura herself. Her actions are often questionable, yet by the end of the book, I felt as if I knew Laura quite well, and what at first appeared “cringe worthy” made sense considering the entire picture.

The opening scene, where Laura is informed of Betty’s death had me sitting on the edge of my seat. The sights and smells are all described for the reader and as Laura makes her way to Betty’s hospital room, my heart nearly stopped. To see your child without life, covered by a thin sheet with only a small cut on her forehead, seems like an incredibly cruel joke and as the reality sinks in (does it ever really sink in?) you realize how difficult the next few hours, days, weeks and months will be for this woman. My heart broke for her numerous times while reading this story.

As Laura’s life unfolds, so does her relationship with David. At first, the love of her life and later the man who caused her so much pain, we see many sides to David, much of it not being good, but here is a man who has just lost his daughter. What is it they say? There are two sides to every story? Well, in this book, we hear Laura’s side and what we see of David’s is not all that favorable. Manipulative and a tad dangerous, he is unpredictable in one sense, and totally predictable in another. He remains an unknown and that made me uncomfortable every time he entered the picture.

Then, there is the man who killed Betty. Driving recklessly yet ultimately, an accident. He is allowed to walk free, yet Betty’s life is over. The unfairness of this forces Laura to promise to herself, that whatever he loves, will be taken away from him. The seriousness of this promise does not sink in until she is actually in the act of carrying it out. This part of the story seemed to stray a bit for me. Motive aside, she seemed to be acting out of character and she did things that made me not like her even though I sort of understood why she was doing them. Additionally, the wrap-up seemed to come up too fast for me. I could have used a little more detail in the last few chapters to help me digest the ending.

That said, I loved the complicated nature of this story and the narrative structure worked for me. None of these characters are perfect and nearly all of them are deeply flawed which made for interesting reading. Doughty’s handling of grief, and how it destroys families directly and indirectly is impressive. The writing is solid and there is a lot to think about. If you like psychological drama, then you will enjoy this one.

Source: Sent to me by the publisher via Net Galley.
Disclosure: This post contains Indiebound affiliate links.

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