A few days ago, I spouted off about something that happened to my son and so many of you took the time to comment or talk to me about it via Facebook (thank you). I can’t say that I am feeling much better, but here’s what happened.
After my email to the head coach, I received an email reply the next day. The email was delicately worded, but more concerned with my husband’s reaction to the coach in question, than the issue at hand. You see, after my blog post, my husband decided to talk to Coach Jerk and it was not pretty. Needless to say, Coach Jerk morphed into even more of a jerk, which I didn’t think was possible. The head coach’s email stated the following:
*That my son was not kicked off the team.
*That my son never indicated that he was having problems with his health.
*That my son was disrespectful and mouthed off to the coaches.
Not true. When I read that email, I almost lost it but at the bottom of the email, was the head coach’s number so I called him. After a very long talk, he admitted that out of the three coaches, the third coach did not witness any disrespect and that he even stated that my son was “not that kind if kid.”
We talked for a very long time. What started off as a very firm email of support for his coaches, turned into a misunderstanding for all parties involved. I am not 100% okay with it although I do think there was a misunderstanding in that the Jerk took my son’s pain as a sign of rebellion. What I did get out of it, is that the head coach is essentially a good guy and was trying to see both sides of it without putting any one party down in the process.
End Result:
My son was invited back, but we chose to keep him out for the following reasons:
*The collusion between the two coaches is unacceptable. I don’t want my kid around people who are willing to back each other up when they KNOW they are in the wrong. The “good ole boy” club is alive and well and I want no part of it. I pretty much told him so.
*Even if all parties agree to start over, I don’t think my son would make it through the season with Coach Jerk riding him every time he had a problem.
I did not get a dime back because my son was invited to return. I was really very close to taking it higher, but the head coach suggested that my son try again next year, under a different coach. If he does come back, I don’t want him to get blacklisted because his mother took it all the way up. Know what I mean?
And even though I feel as if we got the short end of the stick in this, I do think that the head coach is going to keep an eye on Coach Jerk. In fact, I am positive he will. This guy is a loose cannon. Unhappy in life and taking it out on these kids. It will come to a head, and this jerk will get his. Of that, I am sure. It would be good to nip it now, but when you have coaches backing up other coaches, it’s difficult to do unless the kids come forward. Some of the kids offered to quit, but my son told them not to. So there you have it.
My son has been very depressed since it happened. I thought that signing him up for the next show (The Music Man) would improve his spirits but he’s dragging himself around like a sack of laundry. One funny thing to note…I just found out that his cross-country coach was an old teacher of mine from high school! Can you believe it? Funny and nice. At least with that sport, I know he’ll be respected by his coaches. A little bit of light during this dark time.
If I didn’t have to think about grudges and repercussions, I would have reamed Coach Jerk in every way possible so this is an unusual position to be in. I’m a little depressed over it myself and so close to just taking it to the top anyway, but I am trying to put a little distance between it and myself. I just feel badly for my son. Now, he can’t play and it sucks.