Same As It Ever Was
By Claire Lombardo
Doubleday Books, 9780385549554, June 2024, 512pp.
The Short of It:
One of the most frustratingly, endearing reads I’ve ever read.
The Rest of It:
Let me explain that sentence above. Julia Ames walks us through her life as a married mother of two. She includes it all, the doubts, the flaws, the insecurities. We meet her as a young woman, and then a married woman and then a mom. We are taken back and forth in time to when it was good, and when it wasn’t great. And how a brief slip of common sense sends her down a disastrous path. But does it?
It took me a really long time to read Same as it Ever Was. The back and forth nature of the storytelling is necessary but also a bit exhausting. Julia is a frustrating character. She second-guesses too much. There is a lot of internal dialogue as she navigates life and basically, everyday interactions. Sometimes I wanted to shake her and tell her to be more confident but then other times, you just want to give her a hug because she is the definition of a hot mess.
Julia is deeply flawed but also relatable. Her flashbacks of raising her children reminded me of my own experiences raising tiny humans. The overall not-knowing if what you are doing is right, or if you could be doing it better. Her relationship with her husband Mark, is tenuous at best. So there’s not a lot of encouragement going on there.
What is the story about? LIFE. It’s about leaving your single self to become part of something larger. It’s about all the missteps you take as you figure out the kind of life you want to live. It’s about mistakes, forgiveness, and the people who come into your life to help you navigate the ups and downs.
Lombardo’s writing is clear and authentic. Genuine, you could say. As I was reading, there were a million moments where I caught myself saying, “I get it.” Especially the sections about Julia’s adult children and their evolution from sweet toddlerhood to moody teens. It all made me a little sad though, that empty nest thing and the “what’s next?” aspect of life. Life is a series of next steps and this story is entirely that.
As you get towards the end of the story, there is a lot going on, so many feelings as Julia figures out how to interact with her very difficult mother, I mean, who can’t relate to that? But the awkwardness and sarcasm hits you before the sense of loneliness and loss does. This section felt a little long. Perhaps, because it was uncomfortable.
This is not a story you will love. It’s not that kind of story but it’s a story you will appreciate, no matter what stage of life you are currently in.
Source: Borrowed
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I also just finished this book. While I gave the book 4 stars in Goodreads I felt as you did that the main character was either get a cup of coffee & shower & move on or she needs a hug! It is a storey of life, its relationships in all their complicated forms. Thanks for another great review!
Most of the time I felt a lot of empathy for Julia. I mean, gosh, her mother! She was a piece of work. I really liked Helen. I wanted more of her.
This sounds like it could be uncomfortable in a few places. But overall, the review makes me intrigued. I’ll put it on hold at my library.
Lombardo definitely nails LIFE. The raising of children, the difficulties of adult children, the lack of direction at times. It was very real but that made it feel a little long.
Oh gosh. Do I need to read a story about the regular life of a woman, mom, older adult with a lot going on? I could write that novel. Or, if I was a good writer I could write it.
This sounds like it will resonate with a lot of us.
Haha! That’s kind of how I felt too. I could have written about that life myself. I picked up another book today called Sandwich and it’s the same kind of book!! But this one is lighter and funnier. I swear, is menopausal fiction a thing?
Good review. You explained it very well. I haven’t read it yet but I understand it better. Sounds like Julia has a lot of inner dialogue with herself throughout the novel … I wonder if I will like that or not. It seems like you related to her.
I did relate to Julia even though she kind of annoyed me at times. I am reading another book with the same tone to it, Sandwich but it’s super funny and light. Quite different.
Hmm, now I’m not sure if I want to read this one. I probably will, but I appreciate your opinion. We’ll see what I think! 🙂
I found this incredibly tedious and not enjoyable at all.
I see your point. It was a little tedious for me too. I didn’t love Julia so my patience was thin.
I too have a hard time loving a book when I don’t particulrly like the main character.