It’s so easy to be consumed by sadness. I don’t get sad too often. I am mostly content and happy. My kids will say I yell too much. I do. Patience is not my strong suit. But these last few weeks really brought me down. My father’s death, the eye injury, etc. I tried to be all quiet with it all. Sleeping, living on gluten free toast which is like prison food. And yes, I yelled a lot. Short fuse.
Now, after after a few weeks of moping around I am better. I think it’s good to just give in sometimes and to realize that you don’t have to keep it all together. It felt good to just let it all go. I want to thank all of you for the kinds words, the numerous “check-ins” and the fun stuff you all sent me to cheer me up. Seriously, thank you.
Right Now:
Coffee, breakfast, church. Over the last twelve months, church has played a bigger role in my life than it ever has. Mostly, because we finally found a church that we can live with. It’s called Real Life Church and that is what it is. Practical messages for daily living. Come as you are. No fancy schmancy dressing up and they even have a coffee house which even The Girl takes pleasure in. They make a mean hot chocolate. So that is how we will spend the morning. Oh, and trying to get used to the time change. I am not a fan of Spring Forward.
This Week:
- The Girl auditioned for Brigitta (The Sound of Music) and a lead nun. We find out on Tuesday if she got a callback.
- Track is in full swing, but The Girl missed some practices because of the show and we had some practices cancelled because of rain. Not sure she is going to be ready by the first meet on 3/21.
- The Teen continues with his rehearsals for Dirty Rotten Scoundrels.
- The Teen is starting his SAT prep course soon and the college packets are starting to arrive at the house. He is a senior next year. Wow.
- I have a parent teacher conference on Tuesday and I am working the book fair on Thursday but forgot my kid will be at track. Bad planning on my part.
Reading:
I am about 70 pages into Pet Sematary. I fell behind for the read along because of the eye injury (so stupid) but I am trying to catch-up. I think most have finished already. I am also reading The Book of Strange New Things. I started this one ages ago and got totally sidetracked so now I am reading it FOR REAL. I’d like to fit one more book in. A page-turner like The Girl on the Train. Any suggestions?
Watching:
One thing I did a lot of while moping around was watch Breaking Bad. I started that first season and did not think I was going to like it and now I am more than halfway through season three. What an awesome show.
Still watching The Walking Dead and it’s getting really good. You can’t trust anyone on that show. It’s a fun one to watch and now The Hub and Teen are hooked.
Gearing up for the return of Bates Motel (Season 3) which premiers this Monday.
Making:
A new Mexican market opened up on our side of town so me thinks some tacos might be in the works.
Grateful for:
All of you.
Happy Thought For the Week:
Hoping for a good outcome when the callback list is announced on Tuesday. Thinking happy thoughts, doing a happy dance. Also, the Teen is narrowing in on what he wants to focus on when he does go to college and it looks like Arts Management. That makes me happy.
Book Chatter 
There are times when it’s almost necessary to let go and feel like junk. You had a hard time recently and no one could blame you. I’m glad to hear that you’re coming out of it, I hope you continue to feel better 😀
I’m only 25% done with Pet Sematary, don’t fret!
Breaking Bad is excellent. I wouldn’t mind rewatching that. You’ll want to start watching Better Call Saul too 😀
I’m sorry for your sadness, Ti, but along with Jennifer’s thoughts, I believe it’s completely understandable with everything going on. I am glad you’re coming out of it too with the help of family, friends and your church. I actually made it to church with my wife this morning, the first time in about a month, but have been thankful that you’ve introduced me to Real Life Church for those times I haven’t made it. It’s been good to watch the online sermons.
I am so sorry for your loss. I understand the need to scream at the world sometimes, especially when it steals precious things from you. I am glad you’re feeling better though. My thoughts are with you and your family.
Taking joy in what you love and the things that remind us of those we love is the best medicine too.
Currently in the middle of Elizabeth Berg’s upcoming novel and love it. I’ll never be able to read King though. Not sure if it’s the mega-status he occupies or that I just don’t like horror lit. 😛
I am so sorry for your loss, I can’t even begin to imagine what you have been going through. And it is absolutely okay to not feel together when grief hits.
I hope your eye is feeling much better, that sure was a freak accident! Often it feels like all the bad things are occurring all at once.
And you have plenty time to read Pet Sematary, I’m at 40% but my husband will be working away this week and I daren’t read it when home alone so i won’t be making any progress until he gets home.
Continued prayers, Ti. I somehow missed the eye injury and had to scroll back through to see what happened – yikes! Hope it is healing now.
Wish I had a page turner to suggest for you! But nothing really compares to Stephen King, right? You are so like a Hollywood Mom, with your kids! They are amazing! So glad to hear you are doing better!
I think that sadness hits us in different ways…and we all cope differently…I am so glad you are feeling better…if toast helps…then you should eat toast!
What a wonderful post – so honest and refreshing, and so unlike what I’ve read in a long time. Obviously, I’m a new reader, but from my limited perspective, it sounds as though you’re doing better. And you know what they say about hitting rock bottom… The only way left is UP 🙂 Glad you found a church (we weren’t so lucky as yet). Not sure what to recommend to put alongside Stephen King – this is a toughie. Have a great week!
I’m so glad to hear you are feeling a little better, Ti. The prison food gluten-free toast sounds just “yummy”. LOL
Honestly, I have found that in my lowest times, just being at church and especially listening to the music if I couldn’t bring myself to sing, has been really healing. For me anyway. I feel like I just soak up the words the sentiments.
Crossing fingers for your girl’s callback and other activities. College plans – lots of fun. I love hearing about your kids. You’re such a “Mom”. 😉
Going to church has helped a great deal. I just feel at peace while there and it starts the week off on the right foot.
Today, even with the time change I seem to be doing okay. Usually this one throws me for a loop. I’ve got my book for lunch and look forward to leaving this desk. LOL.
________________________________
Glad your over the hump and feeling better!! What is Arts Management? I am listening to Anne Tyler’s new book A Spool of Blue Thread. Always love her characters! I am also reading Clara and Mr. Tiffany by Susan Vreeland. It’s interesting to learn about how Tiffany windows and lamps came to be. Historical fiction at its best. I Fond memories of Vreeland’s Girl In Hyacinth Blue. Enjoy the rest of your weekend. Fingers crossed for Tuesday!!
Sounds like you still have a ton on your plate even with your eye injury! Feel better soon! We’ve been busy with birthday festivities.
Did I miss a birthday?
________________________________
Good Lord yes, the kids finding direction. I think my daughter has pretty much found it but I’m still waiting on the other one. That is a daily struggle. SAT and ACT prep, got that going on too, as well as tears and stress. I’m glad you are feeling better. I do believe in letting yourself be sad, but sometimes I have a hard time pulling myself back out once I’m there. I’m going to think happy thoughts for the call back! Some sad news here…my sister’s partner and their dog were hit by a car while out walking. It killed the dog and put Eleanor in the hospital with a broken pelvis and broken sinus. I’m just devastated for them.
Right now I’m listening to The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay on audio, and reading The Girl on the Train in print. Both very good!
Glad you are feeling better and did what you needed as you are grieving. Best of luck to the kiddos! Hope the eye issue is getting better.
Thank you. I feel pretty good today, even with the time change and this spring forward stuff always throws me for a loop. I am definitely more of a “fall back” kind of gal. Have a good day!
________________________________
It sounds like you had good reasons to be sad – you were right to just go with it for a while.
Very glad you’re starting to feel better. And I love your attitude about it all – yes, it is good to just give in sometimes and know you don’t have to hold it all together. Because sometimes, life is just like that. I’ve found that’s the best way to acceptance, although it’s still so hard to do, this letting go stuff!
I’m just beginning chapter 30 of Pet Sematary and plan to read slowly throughout this month.
I’ll keep my fingers crossed for the callback! It would be so exciting if The Girl got to play Brigitta!
I am on Chapter 26 now. Might read a few more chapters at lunch if Breaking Bad doesn’t call to me.
I have my fingers crossed for a callback but there are so many kids who tried out. It took years for my son to get the good parts. Hoping she gets called back.
________________________________
Glad to hear you and the eye are feeling better! You had every right to be a bit of a yeller. Sounds like it’s just in time for things in your life to get busy again!
I like to think of myself as a loud talker when it comes to my kids but you know, they will disagree.
________________________________
I’ve been keeping you in my thoughts, and I am glad to hear that things are looking up. I hope that this week brings you all sorts of good news.
I was really hoping to join in on Pet Sematary, but I don’t think it is going to happen. Sadly, I have too many other reading projects that I want to get to this month. I really do need to re-read this one though.
This is my 3rd time reading Pet Sematary but the entire first part seemed new to me. Now that I am about 130 pages in, it’s coming back to me but it’s weird how I don’t seem to recall much of the first chapters.
________________________________
I recently read two that have been compared to Girl on the Train — One Step Too Far (Tina Seskis) and The Kind Worth Killing (Peter Swanson). I liked The Kind Worth Killing better, but they were both page-turners similar in a way to The Girl on the Train. I wish I could have joined in Pet Sematary, too, but have fun with it!
Thanks for the suggestions. I haven’t heard of either of them before but I am making note of them.
________________________________
Glad that you are feeling better. It is definitely best to give in when you feel sad – once that feeling passes, I generally feel much better and able to deal with life and routine. Breaking Bad is certainly addictive – I never watched the show end to end but watched many episodes with my brother and could not look away while it was running.
I’m not sure how many seasons there are total, but I am approaching the end of season three and seriously cannot stop watching it. I guess when I am done with it, I will start watching the spin-off Better Call Saul. I purposely held off on that one because I think there would be spoilers for BB.
________________________________
I am glad you are feeling better, Ti. Sending a big hug your way. It took me a long while to learn I sometimes need to give into my sadness, so I know what you mean.
I am so glad Dirty Rotten Scoundrels was funded! I hope the show goes well. And best wishes to your daughter! I hope the news is good on Tuesday.
I hope you have a good–or even just better–week, Ti.
Somehow or another, I got deleted off your subscription list. Wanted to reach out to you today because I finally got my hands on a copy of The Rosie Project and wanted to let you know what I thought. It then occurred to me that I hadn’t seen a post from you since the Annie play. Yikes! Quickly connected with the blog only to see your very sad news about your dad and your eye injury. Losing a parent is never easy, no matter what your relationship is all about. Thinking of you and sending positive thoughts your way. Hope you are coming to term with things. As to “Rosie”, loved it. So Sheldon Cooper like. Hope that Sheldon and Amy find that happiness one of these seasons. Also saw some of your book posts that intrigued me. Don’t know why I didn’t realize I hadn’t heard from you in a while. Like one of your friends, I recommend The Kind Worth Killing. A real page turner. Thinking of you and glad to be connected again. Good luck with Sound of Music.
The Walking Dead is suspenseful right now. I’m scared about the place they’re at now. Something is amiss. I think I’m one episode behind, will catch up. We were in Palm Springs last week, fun, nice.
http://www.thecuecard.com
We normally hit Palm Springs over Spring Break but can’t this year because of work. I feel the need to visit soon.
TWD is pretty strange right now. I am loving the episodes though. i really have no idea where it’s all going.
________________________________